Perpetual Restarts

via Daily Prompt: Restart


I am the queen of starting over.

Marriage. Finances. Friendships. Family. Careers. Diets. This blog.

You name it, I’ve probably tried it, quit and tried it again. It’s a problem really, perhaps even an addiction. I get bored and need a change. I lack consistent motivation and a sense of direction. I struggle with time management and goal setting. I pick projects that are unattainable or relationships that are unhealthy and unmanageable.

I get lost in the idea of things.

But I am honest, sometimes to my detriment and the chagrin of my family. My compassion and desire to help others takes over common sense and setting solid boundaries. I am motivated by the joy of others and a strong desire to organize my life even if I can’t ever really bring it to fruition.

And so it should not surprise a single soul I am sitting at my computer on a random Friday, still in my pajamas, drinking my third cup of coffee at 11:30 in the morning, trying to decide between doing mounds of laundry, cleaning up the hundreds of piles of unfinished projects I’ve started around the house or writing a blog post.

When I started this blog thing I didn’t have a plan or vision for what would come next. I just knew that I needed to write and I needed to write about life. All of it. The good, the bad and the ugly.

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My girls, who I refer to as The Tortoise and The Hare, were age 7 and 11. The stories I told were unguarded and random. At first the girls thought it was awesome and hilarious that their stories were posted so publicly, but as they got older it was common for one or both of them to come out of an embarrassing situation declaring, “THIS IS NOT TO BE BLOGGED”. They are turning 16 and 20 in the next few weeks. In addition, in 2014 we grew by another child, Peanut. He is now 12 years old. For the first three years his stories were private until his adoption last year. There is much I would still never write about in this platform, things that are personal to him alone. However, there is so much more I could have written, can still write, about how my heart and life has metamorphosed because of my amazing beautiful son. One of the first things he said to me after his adoption was final was, “now I can be on the family Christmas card and your blog.” He wants to be seen as much as I want to be heard.

Today I happened to come across yesterday’s Daily Post topic. Restart.

Today is a restart.

Today I am considering this another “first” blog post.

Welcome to my life.

7 thoughts on “Perpetual Restarts

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