Sometimes I don’t realize how busy I have made myself. Moving from one task to another, it hits me about 4 o’clock. My stomach growling, my mood shifting and the realization that I have not sat down, not even to eat. The after school chaos, the dinner rush and then evening routines follow me to bed. I find myself restless under the covers, flipping channels, watching shows I’ve saved for later viewing until my eyes burn and sleep finally begs me to concede. DW sleeps soundly beside me, hours before I turn out the lights.
I’m not always well rested in the morning. I wake with a start, thoughts of new projects and unfinished projects heavy on my mind. The most frustrating is holding on to words that never make it to a page, words trapped in unnecessary busyness. Disappointment of incomplete thoughts, people waiting for a response, and the nagging feeling of failure push me towards more unrest. And instead of just tackling one thing at a time, I foolishly look to something shiny and new to fill the void.
I have been sick for about a month. In fact, I just finished my second round of antibiotics. The first round was a result of three days of 103 fevers and chills. DW took me to urgent care. Two weeks later, I was back with open soars on the back of my throat. It forced me to sleep. A lot. I found myself sleeping in the middle of the day and well into the night. DW kept the kids at bay, stepped in as cook and chauffeur. He was adamant that I rest. The last couple of days I have suddenly felt more alert, more comforted and ready to tackle each project again. Only now, the projects feel less overwhelming, less daunting. I’m also less distracted. It was as if I needed to be sick to be well.
Mark 6:31 – And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.