Nothing to see here people. Move along, move along.

WatMButtonTake2wText“STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!” shouted The Hare from the backseat.

I started to feel a little light-headed halfway through The Hare’s dentist appointment. Her appointment was at nine, perfect for a breakfast date on the way home. She slept until just before we had to leave, but I had been up for a couple of hours. I decided this would be the week to ween myself off of caffeine. My daily coffee consumption has crept up recently, keeping me awake at night and prohibiting me from a good night’s rest. I probably drink  a pot of coffee a day, absorbing the last savory cup around 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I made tea instead yesterday, De-caffeinated.

Going cold turkey seemed like a good idea.

I have an affinity for being impulsive spontaneous.

Leaving the house, I grabbed a book, a steaming travel mug of tea and popped one chewable adult multivitamin. My stomach rumbled mildly, but nothing too uncomfortable. However, a sharp stabbing pain above my left eye had started surfacing. The longer I sat in the waiting room, the more intense my head ached. My tea was unsatisfying and not mixing well with the chalky aftertaste of multivitamin. Finally, The Hare emerged. Standing up to greet her, my head started spinning and my hands felt clammy.

“Mom?” The Hare asked, “Everything okay?”

“Of course, I’m just hungry, ” I answered, wiping a bead of sweat from my brow.

Suddenly, my headache overpowered me and a loud belch of tea and multivitamin exploded. I needed to get to the coffee shop as fast as possible, but as we pulled out of the parking lot, I could feel my stomach heaving. My hands shook on the steering wheel, my mouth filling unexpectedly with vomit.

“Don’t puke on your  new sweater,” I thought to  myself, making great effort to swallow the foulness.

“Mom?” asked The Hare, “What’s going on?”

But before I could answer her, my stomach convulsed again and I puked two more times. Keeping my lips pursed, my cheeks poked out like a puffer fish, as I scanned the side of the road for a safe place to pull over.

“STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!” shouted The Hare excitedly.

I quickly jumped out of the car in the parking lot of a closed business and made it in time to expel a mouthful of tea and bile. Cars whizzed past as I held my hair away from the mess, a gossamer of saliva clinging to my chin.

Thank goodness I didn’t do this in the car!” I thought to myself in relief.

Sliding back into the driver’s seat, I assured The Hare I was okay, explaining that taking a multivitamin on an empty stomach and the lack of caffeine was the cause of this sudden “illness”. I just needed some breakfast and I would be good as new.

The Hare scowled at me.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she scolded, “You nearly ruined my appetite.”

25 thoughts on “Nothing to see here people. Move along, move along.

  1. There is nothing worse than experiencing that wave of nausea and thinking — damn, those vitamins on an empty stomach. That can make you feel sick as a dog. (Green tea on an empty stomach also does that to me sometimes.)

  2. The use of gossamer to describe a string of vomit is so fantastic. I’m sorry that it happened to you, because yuck! But the telling of the tale is great stuff.

  3. why not just switch to decaf..some people can tastes the difference between decaf and regular,i’m not one of those people however.i’ve been doing decaf at Denny’s every morning in the a.m. side (a couple hours before bed time) for years now.it’s the internet that keeps me awake past my bedtime now.

  4. Next time, just skip the multivitamin! Seriously, though, I loved this, because I have my own “issues” with coffee too.

    I also have my moments, and often while still wearing my flannel pajamas. I’m so glad to be in such great company:)

  5. Now I read somewhere that the consumption of copious amounts of coffee helps ward of breast cancer in some body types. Whether there’s enough evidence to support that claim is inconsequential, that’s a theory I’m willing to embrace fanatically.

    Although, if it’s keeping you awake at night, maybe cutting back one or two cups in the afternoon isn’t a bad thing…

    This was a fun read, you have a wonderful knack for weaving humor into events that are considerably more serious by nature. Well done!.

  6. Well told. My only critique is that I didn’t like the line I have an affinity for being a little impulsive. I would have said I have an affinity for spontaneity. Not exactly the same meaning but better flow. And yes, glad to read you’re better.

  7. Kids. {humph}

    I can not even imagine holding puke in my mouth. I would NEVER be able to do that. And no more going cold turkey for you!

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