Everything changes after sex

“Mom, we have to get there early this time!” said The Hare anxiously, while we packed up for an outdoor concert.

Last year before the Maroon 5 concert

Last summer we bought tickets to see Maroon 5 and Train at the same venue. That was The Hare’s first big concert and her absolute favorite band. (Probably because they are my favorite band and she has been listening to them her whole life.)  Unfortunately, we misjudged everything and got to the concert just as it was starting. And when you come to a lawn-seated concert of this size, coming “on-time” is coming late. There was just a sliver of mud left at the far back edge of the lawn. DW hoisted The Hare up on his shoulders for the duration of the concert in the hopes of her catching a glimpse of the show on overhead monitors. The Tortoise and I snuck peaks between dancing bodies. Despite everything, we still had a wonderful time being together as a family, listening to music under the stars. The Hare surprised the audience around her as she belted out lyric after lyric of memorized songs.

Songs she had no real understanding of their content.

Me and The Tortoise this summer – Don’t you love my “Jason Mraz” hat?
The Tortoise and The Hare enjoying a game of Uno

This summer we planned to get to the concert an hour and a half before stage call. We were excited to find out we could also bring a picnic dinner and snacks. The girls helped me stuff our bags full of healthy goodies and home-made chocolate chip cookies. A couple of worn-out quilts and sweatshirts made the packing complete. The weather was perfect, mid-70’s and sunny. We grabbed a soft grassy spot center stage at the very front edge of the lawn. It was fun people watching while we ate our dinner and played a few rounds of card games. Before we knew it, the opening act, Christina Perri, breathed life into the night. As the sun set, the air grew chilly and we snuggled under blankets, shoulder to shoulder. Suddenly, the main attraction, Jason Mraz, took stage and the entire audience erupted, jumping to their feet.

All four of us sang and danced as if we were on stage too. This was DW’s favorite artist, and the girls knew every song from listening to him in the car. Suddenly, one of the more provocative songs began. The beat is fun and easy to follow. The Hare has heard the song a hundred times without question, but this time a scowl began forming. Then she crossed her arms tightly across her chest.

“MOM!” The Hare yelled over the animated crowd, “This song is about that gross thing we talked about at Dairy Queen last week, isn’t it?”

My cheeks grew hot as I nodded yes in response.

Great! Now this song is ruined. I wonder what else you ruined!”

9 thoughts on “Everything changes after sex

  1. Oh dear! I can’t help but laugh at this, even though I can imagine how she was feeling. I’ve had the same thing when friends have pointed out possible connotations of a lyric (or even just things they misheard as something dirty) and after that, I can’t listen to a song in the same way. It’s worse when that’s NOT what the line means, just what it sounds like, because even if I feel comfortable singing it, other people comment on it. *sigh*

  2. Ah, yes. I remember belting out lyrics as a kid that I can’t even listen to today without blushing — never mind singing them aloud. And don’t get me started on some of the truly raunchy things you can hear on the airwaves anymore! I find the radio gives me far more opportunities to talk about appropriate speech and behavior with my kids than I would like. It’s kind of sweet, though, when a song starts playing and one of them switches the station, saying, “I don’t like that song. It’s (nasty, got bad language, not very good).” Sometimes I get the impression that they’re protecting me as much as or more than expressing their own preferences. That works, too, because one of the things I want them to be aware of is how their choices affect others around them.

  3. Ah, the horrors of sex.

    When my daughter finally learned what it was and what it could result in, she looked at her brother, then back to me, and cried, “Oh my God! You`ve done it TWICE!“

    Yeah…that`s about right.

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