Today I’m linking up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. The prompt I chose was, “What about school do you miss the least?” In just eleven short days, our house will suddenly have a freshman in high school and it got me thinking about my own high school days – those, awkward, uncomfortable, and overly dramatic school days.
I hold my breath, clutching my backpack firmly on one shoulder, waiting for an opportunity to break in to their tiny circle. He is surrounded by pretty girls. Girls who giggle and toss their hair back. Girls whose mother’s let them wear short skirts and push-up bras. Exhaling slowly, my body moves closer, hoping to slide between him and the annoying cheer leader. My stomach cramps, my palms sweat, thinking about our bodies being so close together.
Only an arm’s length away, he senses my presence, and turns his face slightly in my direction. The annoying cheer leader reaches out, puts her hand on his arm, and draws him back to her, shutting me out of the circle. She is not smarter than me. I don’t even think she is prettier than me. And yet, I am defeated by her charm and ability to command attention.
So I just keep walking past the superficial chatter. A lump sticks in my throat, as I try saying hi, but it sounds more like a croak or a yip. He smiles. Is that out of pity or politeness? I’ll never know, because I’ll just continue to adore him from afar. Sitting behind him in Spanish class, hovering near his lunch table, or becoming friends with his friends will be the best I can offer, because somehow, it seems a better idea to never be noticed than to be noticed and then let down.