FYI: If you are going to have an affair, don’t share a Google account

Microsoft Office clip art

DW was very excited about his new phone. Now we both have Androids. As he was reading about setting up his new toy, he realized he needed to register a Gmail account to activate his phone.

“I guess I’ll just use our household email address then,” he said aloud to himself.

“NO!” I interjected, “Don’t do that. Create one of your own just for the phone.”

DW looked up in confusion.

“Why would I do that when we already have one?”

“Because all my contacts, calendar events and tasks will get sucked into your phone. You’ll be getting updates like crazy!”

He shook his head and smiled.

Then he added our household account to his phone. To his horror, hundreds of contacts from not only my address book, but also Facebook and Twitter flooded his database.

“What the hell?” he snapped, “How am I supposed to find my contacts now?”

Then he scowled as he opened up his calendar, seeing the dozens of reminders set up about carpool, sports activities, volunteer hours and what I was making for dinner.

He sighed loudly.

For the next 24 hour hours he complained about all the pop-up reminders that kept interrupting his day.

Too bad nobody warned him that would happen.

On the second day, he proudly walked into the kitchen, beaming.

“I’ve got this all figured out now.”

“Got what figured out?” I asked confused.

“The phone thing.”


“I went through and deleted your contacts from my list and turned off the auto updating on the calendar. See, no more problem.”

No more problem, except that I didn’t realize he still gets pop ups for Gmail instant messaging. My sister-in-law sends me messages that way occasionally, hoping I am online and have a minute or two. Last week, DW came home from work visibly confused, perhaps even a little bit concerned.

“Um, Honey,” he stumbled, “Why are you writing about our sex life on your blog?”

“WHAT!” I exclaimed, my brain surfing through posts, wondering what embarrassing situation I could have possibly made public.

“I was in a meeting today, and all of a sudden you got an instant message from your sister-in-law that said: ‘ Just read your orgasm post. Hilarious!’ ”

I couldn’t help but start laughing out loud. Obviously, he does not read my blog.

Perhaps he’ll let me create a Gmail account for him now.

3 thoughts on “FYI: If you are going to have an affair, don’t share a Google account

  1. Ha ha ha ha! I have a lot of issues with unwanted notifications on my Android, and I have my own google account! I can imagine how awkward it would be if I shared it…
    “Miriam…? Why am I getting emails about shirtless fairies with whips?”
    “It’s a novel! It was a novel! I swear it was a novel!”

  2. Men, seriously, they just don’t listen!!! 🙂

    LOL, this is exactly the kind of levity I needed today…thank you Em! xo

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