It started raining early this morning. My only real concern was whether or not it was freezing rain or not. Ice on the roads is never good. But since it has been in the mid to upper 30’s it’s just wet and cold.
I’m sitting here in my workout clothes and a pony-tail at the moment. Body odor is bordering on offensive – but at least I am actually wearing these clothes because I worked out, and not because I was just thinking about working-out. On Wednesday last week I went to Jazzercise for the first time in a month. They are advertising for their new Ballet Body class and Jazz It Off. I signed up for both – somehow I thought that if I was accountable to weigh in every week, and log class hours to win prizes, that I would actually do what I set out to do. Besides, by signing up for both I got a really cool water bottle.
It’s been a personally disappointing couple of months in regards to my fitness goals. I’ve lost nothing and gained many excuses. I never trained for that 8k marked on my calendar in a couple of weeks either (although now I am volunteering there since they didn’t have enough people to work. Somehow that makes my not running okay. Sort of.) Already this week has been an improvement. I’ve made it to two classes. Baby steps. What really struck me though was the instructor. She remembered my name and asked me how I was doing. She had noticed that I had not been coming regularly. I made some lame complaint about how much time out of my day it takes to excercise. By the time I get to class, take the class, get home and shower it is already after lunch. That only gives me a few hours to get all the “important” stuff done before the kids come home from school. She smiled, nodded her head, and said:
“A lot of moms have a hard time giving themselves permission to make the time. But you’ll figure it out.”
I had never thought of it that way. There is a level of guilt we carry around when taking time to do something other than taking care of our families, work and household. That word “permission” hung in the air all weekend and I couldn’t help but remember something someone else once said to me years ago when I was struggling with making some really important decisions about my life. She said,
“Is what you are doing today getting you to where you want to be tomorrow?”
My answer to that was an emphatic “No”!
Monday morning I gave myself permission to live my life in a manner that would get me the results that I wanted. It is an adjustment, no doubt. I’ve only achieved half of what I had on my to-do list, but that is okay because it will all still be there tomorrow. But those calories that I burned today will not. Emails will always be waiting to be answered and floors will continually need to be swept. But pages of my book will not write themselves.
Sometimes we need a gentle reminder to give ourselves permission to slow down and enjoy the journey as much as the destination. It’s okay to leave a load of laundry unfolded, or the breakfast dishes in the sink a bit longer. Sometimes watching the rain hit the window while getting one little blog post written is exactly what needs to get done.
Need a good chuckle today? Check out my post at Blissfully Domestic.