You Can’t Take This Too Personally

Recently a fellow Twitterer (is that a word?) asked me this question:

As a blog is personal, do you ever have those weeks where life just doesn’t seem worth writing down?

My response was an emphatic YES. There are weeks that life just doesn’t seem worth getting out of bed, let alone write a blog post. Sometimes it feels like that old Dunkin Donuts commercial , you know the one, where the totally frustrated donut guy continually gets up every morning saying, “It’s time to make the donuts“, only I’m saying, “It’s time to make the lunches, drive to school, clean the house, wash the clothes, figure out dinner and still have time left over for my husband.”

I thought about that question a lot. It struck me that if I really believed my life wasn’t worth writing down, was I subconsciously saying that there are days I don’t think my life is worth the effort in general? Of course not! Every moment is a piece of my children’s intricately woven future and a snippet of what makes me who I am. Things may seem monotonous at times, sucking me into some weird mommy doldrums, but I know in my heart of hearts that being a mom matters. I know that the choices we have made as parents are part of something bigger than ourselves. I also know that creating ourselves, and understanding our purpose, is a life-long endeavor.

Then what is the real reason I might not write a blog post?

After looking at it from another perspective, I started to read that Twitter comment more like this:

As life is so personal,  do you ever have those weeks where blogging just doesn’t seem worth putting yourself out there?

To that, I answer a more thoughtful yes. But why?

Fear. It appears that fear is the real reason.

Fear of my life, not my writing, being good enough. Yesterday is a perfect example. I finally completed a submission for Blissfully Domestic. I had avoided writing my monthly article for them last month, because I just don’t find myself that funny. (Although people do laugh at me often, hmmm.) I kept waiting for some iconic parenting moment to happen, thrusting me into an inspired frenzy, creating a perfectly humorous story. A story that would surely get me “noticed” in the blogging community. The little daily chuckles in my life just didn’t seem enough, (regardless of the fact that they had made me smile at some point during the day). If I keep trying to look at my life as big moments worth blogging about, then I am going to miss out on enjoying the small things.

Fear of receiving comments that are less than supportive or challenge my opinions. One of my blog posts was featured on Blogher over a week ago. I was immediately flattered and excited, until I started getting comment feedback. There were only a handful, but the one that I focused on,of course, was the one that didn’t totally agree with my parenting method. I took it personally at first, then I realized it was an opportunity to consider other styles of parenting, explain more fully my platform, or simply respect some one else’s opinion. This wasn’t about me not being liked. This was about allowing a community of women to engage in a conversation, build a connection, possibly even help one another out to be more secure women and moms.

Ironically, just this morning I read Questioning Your Blogging  by Kludgy Mom and found myself saying “yes” to every one of her points. Not too surprising, I guess, that I’m not the only one either. Afterall, we are incredibly human, flawed. There’s an explosion of bloggers responding in unison, “Me too! Me too!” It sort of levels the writing field when you realize all of us have the same insecurities, when it doesn’t matter if your blog is big or small, because we are more than pretty websites or blog stats. We are real people behind these words just trying to maneuver through our days as best we can, looking for support wherever we might find it.

Maybe we aren’t really drawn to certain blogs because they are more popular, better written, funnier or more dramatic, but simply because they are willing to write it all down. And somewhere in all those words, on some level, we can relate.

3 thoughts on “You Can’t Take This Too Personally

  1. Gosh, you made so many good points in the post, I don’t know where to start! I especially liked this line, “If I keep trying to look at my life as big moments worth blogging about, then I am going to miss out on enjoying the small things.” Too true – and some people spend so much time online, they lose their entire day, over and over. I really like your writing voice! Visiting from SITS.

  2. I think blogging can be challenging and scary, because it’s all about putting yourself out there – for the world to see. Even if you, like me, keep it anonymous (and hope no one in real life stumbles across it).
    But, then again, I’d rather read someone’s interesting posts even if they aren’t posted every day, rather than a ‘boring’ daily account of “I went to the store today. I bought milk.” etc. That’s why I don’t post every day.. because just some days, I don’t have anything in me to give.

    1. Sometimes though, the posts that I get the most out of reading or the ones that talk about how to get through the daily stuff, how to not get lost in the mundane. But yes, I really struggled on Wednesday for that very reason: I cleaned house, I took the kids to school, I took a bath before bed…there. Post done. : )

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