Is it bedtime yet?

It’s 10:15pm. The girls have finally had their last goodnight kisses. Breakfast remnants, lunch plates and sadly, yes, dinner dishes line the hand print laden kitchen counter. A two-day old basket of laundry sits next to my bed, another in the dryer and there’s even a load ready to be spun in the washing machine.

I’m going to whine a little, just to warn you.

There is only one time today that I can remember peeing in private without the audience of a puppy, a child or both. I’ve washed someone’s hair, wiped someone’s butt and cleaned up pee off the floor. For lunch I ate sweet pickles right out of the jar and a yogurt (not together). I drove kids to swimming, to gymnastics, to tutoring, to find a new swimsuit, and to theater camp. I served Lean Cuisines and leftovers for dinner in shifts while scheduling vet appointments, refilled prescriptions and balancing the checkbook. And the strawberry jam on my burnt toast of a day? I can’t find the title paper work to the car we are selling.

*oh no! says the audience*

But now here it is,11:00pm and not a creature is stirring, not even my spouse. Each child is tucked away safely in their beds, soundly sleeping. Baby Luna is curled up tightly between my side and DW’s pillow. All the bills are paid, there’s ground turkey defrosting in the fridge for tomorrow’s dinner and the girls’ bathing suits are laid out for the morning’s swim lessons. The dishes will get put away after my 6am puppy potty detail. I can fold clothes watching some show I’ve taped in the afternoon. And I’m sure the DMV can order me another copy of my title.

I don’t want to wish away my summer. The fall will be here soon enough. School backpacks will replace over-stuffed coolers and pool totes. Evenings full of homework and studying will get in the way of eating ice-cream in mom’s bed while watching The Food Network. Car headlights floating down our driveway, signaling children are home from practice, will wash out the glow of fireflies and flashlight tag.

How do I learn to slow down and enjoy the summer with my children? I understand what an incredible blessing it is to be able to stay home and not worry about summer childcare. But sometimes I can’t help but get resentful of the sudden loss of personal space or how much time I spend in the car.

Driving and waiting. Waiting and driving.

The Hare said her prayers tonight, the same as every night:

“God bless mommy, daddy, sissy, Chelsea, baby Luna and my whole family. Help me make good choices, forgive me of my bad choices. In Jesus name, amen.”

And then she gave me a big hug and kisses before saying,

“Thanks for another great day, mom”

The summer is so not about me.

6 thoughts on “Is it bedtime yet?

  1. I love your post…I work during the school year and am home with the kids in the summer. As much as I treasure these summers, my personal adult time has diminished to a few brief quiet minutes at night. While working during the school year, I am more crazed with homework, packing lunches, after school activities, etc….but I also enjoy adult conversations and uninterrupted coffee time in the morning…your blog reminds me summer is not about me, but the memories I’m creating with the kids….loved your blog!

  2. there was a line there. i am not sure where exacty, perhaps in all the busyness of your day or perhaps in the sleeping children line, but it transported me for a minute to my own childhood, and mom with seven kids, a mother-in-law and up country visitors, trying to hold it all together. i have mixed memories of my childhood, but this was a good one, thanks for the trigger. and thanks for being a mommy doing it out there. in time your own kids will have memories in many many years to come too of these summer days. i have a feeling that they will be great memories.

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I’m sure my children will have mixed memories too – hopefully more good than bad, right?

  3. Ahh those hazy lazy days of summer. Tell yourself they are temporary and force yourself to enjoy. They will end in the blink of an eye! I have definitely done my share of driving and waiting and I understand the dilemma. After awhile I would try to take activities. A book to read, or a computer..if you can find a starbucks or other internet connection and I would also wear my sneakers and try to get a walk in while my kiddos were at their activities. Hope that the rest of your summer goes well!

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